New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize