the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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