from now on my penis is your penis
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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