Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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