it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
