watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
