His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
