i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
