You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
