He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
