i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
