i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
