I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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