It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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