I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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