He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
