I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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