I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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