My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
