let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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