he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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