that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
