direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
