Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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