they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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