so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
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