Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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