found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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