Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
