names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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