No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just got carded by a ten year old.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
