Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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