white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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