didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
from now on my penis is your penis
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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