That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want to make out with him forever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize