Your mouth is God's brothel.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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