I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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