How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
