I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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