i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize