you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
