WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
