this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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