If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
