Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
