just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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