You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
