On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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