It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Everything about him screamed your future.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
