you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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