Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
