So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
