you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
