there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
