we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Randomize
