***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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