There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
