New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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