fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
